Year 2008!!!

Its been long I couldn't write much here although many times I longed
to write but some how couldn't .I wanted to put a big post after
winning the photo contest and also after receiving the t-shirt as a
gift. The photo contest gives me the push to at least put one post
every month. Many times I feel guilty that even though I am not
working still I am not able to post much. I am aware that people
manage doing the things they like in spite of their busy schedules and
here I am free most of the time still not finding a zeal to write.
Sometimes I have the topic, the matter but somehow I am not sure how to
start it and so I just don't work on it. This sometimes depresses me.
I am scared that this is becoming my habit I just start up things and
am not able to keep my enthusiasm and just drop it off after some time.

Last year was a very different year, I had many new experiences, came
to know about many worldly things. I learned importance of family. I
for the first time wished if I was born as a boy. I missed Delhi, the
people and the life that I left behind. I missed all of these things,
many times I wanted to come back and start up with my career but all
the other time it seemed useless. Sometimes I feel like laughing on my
own thoughts and frustration. If I meet people who don't have
resources like us I feel frustrated and sorry but if I meet people who
are richer than us again I am frustrated about myself. This year I
have been jealous with other people many times and I am not going to
list my jealousy reasons cos most of them were as stupid as I am. I
understand that I was more susceptible to all these things this year
cos I have ample of time to spend on all these useless things.

Not only clouds but yes I experienced a lot of sunshine too this year.
I traveled to many places which I could not do earlier. I had a formal
birthday party after so many years. I believe last time when I had I
was in class sixth after that I was too conscious to have a formal
party. Like always did lots of shopping and fun. Now for this year I
just pray that god make me more matured towards my responsibilities
and I enjoy and be satisfied with what I have instead of regretting
about what I don't.