Long Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Several times in the past have I wanted to come here but was held up by the little devil. I was enjoying my time with him, cut off from the world almost completely. Yes! the little devil is my son, who entered in our life on the ice-cold afternoon of January 1,2010.

In my seventh month, I packed my hospital bag with everything I thought I might need ....you never know with babies. Taking into past experiences in my family, I wanted to go for elective scissor. I used to have nightmares of having normal delivery throughout my pregnancy. My expected pregnancy date was January 8 yet we decided to go for the C-section on January 1. We slept early on 31st December, when the world bid good-bye to the year gone by. I was advised to take an Alprax to relieve me from any anxiety and slept well.

Life is not about planning but facing the situations as they come. I was under local anesthesia when the baby came Out. I heard the cry but all of a sudden the doctors started panicking. I could see them running calling each other. It was all happening right in front of me but it looked as if these things are not bothering me. I heard the Doctor say the baby stopped breathing yet I did not react. I could see them stitch me while they gave instructions for the baby. All of a sudden I felt my body sink and my legs become numb and cold. I muttered something, the Gynae probably thought that I have sensed something and came to me. She told me that I had a baby boy and everything will be alright. The baby had sucked the first potty called myconium which is very sticky and acidic; it sticks the fragile lungs and makes breathing difficult.

As they wheeled me out of the OT and moved me to my cabin, I saw some familiar faces. By this time I was told that the baby is sent to the nursery. I still thought that others might have seen him. I enquired from my sister whether they have seen the baby and was told that no one saw the baby. Meanwhile, the pediatrician refused to admit the baby and asked to take him either to Delhi or Bareily. The nearest big hospitals. Thanks to my Doctor Uncle and Gynae, who somehow convinced the pediatric to keep the baby in the city itself. The fog was too thick and it was difficult drive the long distance especially with baby's condition.

I was in the hospital recovering and the baby in the nursery struggling for the life. Everyday in morning and evening some people were allowed to see the baby. Every night or whenever my husband got any call, I would be startled, assuming that it is from the nursery. All kind of negative thoughts would fill me, may be the baby’s condition had further deteriorated. After staying in the hospital for five days, I was discharged. It was hard to go home without baby.

Finally on January 8, I was called up in the nursery as the baby moved from the incubator to ventilator.I was allowed to feed him. With many tubes connected to his body, he lay there surrounded by all kinds of medical equipments, each movement being monitored. I could not wink throughout the night with the fear that I might lose the baby. I stayed in the nursery for 2 more days. After which I was allowed to take him home with some instructions like maintaining a specific temperature for him and keeping him isolated for some days.

He is one and half a year old and doing fine. Whenever, I look back and recall those days I wonder why all this happened to us. Why were we tested? The baby was too young to commit any sin. Maybe he was being punished because of us. I do not know the answer to my questions and would wonder forever may be.
Yet, I am thankful to God and all my well wishers who were with us in that moment. THANK YOU!