Thoughts

SOMETIMES WHEN I FLUSH SHIT, I WISH I HAD A FLUSH BUTTON IN MY LIFE TOO ....TO FLUSH ALL THAT SHIT FROM LIFE

2011-09-21T03:05:00.000-07:00

Looks like I am getting better (or worse you decide) on these quotes. This is another one!! just think how good it will be if God could give us this flush button.

SOME DARK LINES CANNOT BE ERASED BY AN ERASER, SAME WAY NOTHING CAN ERASE THE DARK DECISIONS OF YOUR LIFE

2011-09-21T03:01:00.000-07:00

Nothing in particular about darkness and decisions but be ready to see such statements here. I wanted to put this as my status line in FB but didn’t want to attract attention. However, since it popped in my head I posted it here:)

BABY BLUES

2011-09-21T02:58:00.000-07:00

Many of you may feel that I am exaggerating things when I say it is extremely difficult to raise a kid.Yes! from outside it definitely seems everything is fine however, the mother or father are aware that the next day’s schedule depends on how much sleep they are allowed to take by their baby.

My initial months with the baby were like a nightmare, probably more difficult because we had to be over cautious as he had spent his initial days on the ventilator. To add to the frustration and depression, my husband had to travel a lot as soon as the baby arrived. I stayed at my mother’s place for six months as I didn’t have any help at my in law’s place with my husband away most of the time. I remember attending a party three months post delivery where I probably just sleep walked.

My son comes in the category of the hyper active kids. Some babies sleep during daytime, some during night but my son is restless all the time. He is a boy with no schedule at all. He would not drink milk properly as a result he couldn’t sleep properly. This would obviously mean that even I was devoid of sleep. When I was with mummy what ever free time I had, I only wanted to sleep as I thought it best to accumulate my less sleeping hours. Since the baby was weak in the early stages and suffered from cold, I couldn’t wean him. I therefore had to store the breast milk in a bottle and feed him for the first six months. Another one was the colic problem children usually suffer from in the initial months, my son did too for all of six months.

I am not trying to scare the young couples with my experience but just want to enlighten you. More-ever you forget all these things as soon as you see your baby taking the first step or hear his

Elemental contest!!!!

2011-08-13T05:21:00.000-07:00

I had a busy schedule traveling last month so could not mention about my participation in “Elemental” 250 words story contest. This was my third attempt and like always it was great fun to be a part of that contest. Results are out and I am not the winner but entered the prestigious forties club. Forties club means getting forty out of forty five on Jason Evans scale. I am happy about it 
This is my entry for that contest

The Last Shot

Please move a bit,I want to get the perfect shot” shouted Rohan.
“Again” I muttered.
“Still more”
“Not a single inch now” I shouted. It’s been last fifteen minutes that he is trying to get a perfect shot of me with the sun setting in the background. I was tired now with the heat and giving poses.
“Ok” “I will manage” The next thing I heard was a thud and his voice echoing in the valley” HELP”
The rescue was started immediately but I could read in their face that they have little hope. We were here on vacations here and I was all alone. Unknown faces gathered around me to sympathize and gossip about the accident. They were still searching the body.
Is this the camera you mentioned? Asked the police inspector in charge.
It took all my strength to shake my head.
“Will need this for evidence” “you can keep this by the time we find him”
He handed me the camera. My hand was shivering as I hold the camera. Wasn’t sure what to do I scrawled the photographs. This was the last shot.

Long Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-06-29T02:48:00.000-07:00

Several times in the past have I wanted to come here but was held up by the little devil. I was enjoying my time with him, cut off from the world almost completely. Yes! the little devil is my son, who entered in our life on the ice-cold afternoon of January 1,2010.

In my seventh month, I packed my hospital bag with everything I thought I might need ....you never know with babies. Taking into past experiences in my family, I wanted to go for elective scissor. I used to have nightmares of having normal delivery throughout my pregnancy. My expected pregnancy date was January 8 yet we decided to go for the C-section on January 1. We slept early on 31st December, when the world bid good-bye to the year gone by. I was advised to take an Alprax to relieve me from any anxiety and slept well.

Life is not about planning but facing the situations as they come. I was under local anesthesia when the baby came Out. I heard the cry but all of a sudden the doctors started panicking. I could see them running calling each other. It was all happening right in front of me but it looked as if these things are not bothering me. I heard the Doctor say the baby stopped breathing yet I did not react. I could see them stitch me while they gave instructions for the baby. All of a sudden I felt my body sink and my legs become numb and cold. I muttered something, the Gynae probably thought that I have sensed something and came to me. She told me that I had a baby boy and everything will be alright. The baby had sucked the first potty called myconium which is very sticky and acidic; it sticks the fragile lungs and makes breathing difficult.

As they wheeled me out of the OT and moved me to my cabin, I saw some familiar faces. By this time I was told that the baby is sent to the nursery. I still thought that others might have seen him. I enquired from my sister whether they have seen the baby and was told that no one saw the baby. Meanwhile, the pediatrician refused to admit the baby and asked to take him either to Delhi or Bareily. The nearest big hospitals. Thanks to my Doctor Uncle and Gynae, who somehow convinced the pediatric to keep the baby in the city itself. The fog was too thick and it was difficult drive the long distance especially with baby's condition.

I was in the hospital recovering and the baby in the nursery struggling for the life. Everyday in morning and evening some people were allowed to see the baby. Every night or whenever my husband got any call, I would be startled, assuming that it is from the nursery. All kind of negative thoughts would fill me, may be the baby’s condition had further deteriorated. After staying in the hospital for five days, I was discharged. It was hard to go home without baby.

Finally on January 8, I was called up in the nursery as the baby moved from the incubator to ventilator.I was allowed to feed him. With many tubes connected to his body, he lay there surrounded by all kinds of medical equipments, each movement being monitored. I could not wink throughout the night with the fear that I might lose the baby. I stayed in the nursery for 2 more days. After which I was allowed to take him home with some instructions like maintaining a specific temperature for him and keeping him isolated for some days.

He is one and half a year old and doing fine. Whenever, I look back and recall those days I wonder why all this happened to us. Why were we tested? The baby was too young to commit any sin. Maybe he was being punished because of us. I do not know the answer to my questions and would wonder forever may be.
Yet, I am thankful to God and all my well wishers who were with us in that moment. THANK YOU!

Indians Welcome In Goa !!

2009-09-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

This was the heading of one of the articles in TOI. While going through the article I recalled my experiences in Goa. Anyone who has been to Palolime beach is mesmerized by the beauty of that place. The beach is beautiful, the water is clean and the sea is mostly calm. So it’s a perfect place if you are looking for beach holidays. There are mostly shacks, no big hotels and everything is so organized that you will always like to visit the place. The food is good and economical and the rent is also cheap. The places here are mostly occupied by the foreigners. We were told that they have clients coming to the same place for the past 15 years and they spend from one month to six months. Yes there were very few Indian tourists. We were the only ones at “ Big Fish” which has around 10-15 sacks and they used to bill us as “Indian Couple”.
Palolime has its own environment with a lot of foreign touch in it. Usually the day starts at around 9-10 with people taking a dip in the sea and enjoying the sun. The whole day is spent outside alternatively in water and sun. The beach is covered with sun beds and umbrellas and people scattered in bikinis and swimwear. As evening approaches you can see everyone dressed, the sand beach is covered with food tables with a candle at the center instead of sun beds. Each restaurant alternatively holds a music night where the singers are the usually the tourists. The place where we stayed was taken up in lease by a Nepali guy who has married a French woman. Yes, she was a regular tourist and they met here and got married. The person changed his name from “Narayan Bisht” to “Noha Bista” which was easier to pronounce by the tourists. No doubts that other restaurant staff too were inspired and awaiting their luck as they wait for the regular customers. If we talk about the discrimination -- yes it exists very much in Goa. The dollar power surely wins over rupees. Though the restaurant staff never makes us feel that way but still you can see things going around. The waiters are not in interested in communicating in Indian languages and they are more adapted to the foreign accent. So they will not get your hindi as well as your English. Everyone from the boatman, the shopkeepers, the waiters, to the the fruit sellers are well versed with foreign accent and things they need to say in that accent. Good morning, how are you? Do you have a girl friend? Take it for your friend? How beautiful? At times it was quite surprising to see someone in rags and talking such fluent accented English. The locals are ready to play with foreigners be it beach volleyball, just catch and throw or football but they don’t do it if you are an Indian. Once that happened with my husband too, when he offered to play with a local who was playing with the foreigner. That person refused, I still remember my husband was pissed and when I asked why, he told me “they play with foreigners only”. Though later on my husband made a place for himself in the football team. Another thing that I noticed that the women who used to sell seashells, jewellery and other knickknacks always avoided me. They never came up with their things to us whereas they were persuading the foreigners near me. Once I specifically called up one of the ladies asking for a seashell jewellery box and just for my vanity purchased a necklace. Neither were we approached for the massages. Yes definitely, Goa is a place where at times you feel that you are entering a foreign territory. Though there is discrimination but I will not entirely blame the local people. One of the reasons that they avoid Indians are the way they behave with tourists. Out of 10 in 9 cases the Indian men misbehave with the foreigner women. They make all efforts to touch females when they are in water. Many times we noticed foreigner ladies coming out of water as soon as they saw Indian men going there. Secondly even when coming to the beach they don’t carry the swimwear and enter in water with underwear and undershirts. You can see empty bottles carelessly thrown by Indian people. Moreover the foreigners are much more cordial with local restaurant people as compared to us.
I believe that with this campaign, the Goa government will make things easier for Indian tourists too. At the same time we also need to be more well behaved, considerate and should learn to live in harmony with the foreign tourists.

Fear Factor

2009-09-15T00:19:00.000-07:00

Many channels are airing serials based on Fear Factor theme. Just this week colors TV started with Level 2 of Khatron ke Khiladi and for the past few days I have been watching Iss Jungle se mujhe bachao. One of the things that I wonder is the way the celebrities overcome their fears and do all the tasks whereas some of them are really too difficult. Bitten by spiders, python, crabs and still they are a part of the series. Not sure if we are born with fears, but yes, they do grow as we grow. It is always better to nip your fear when it is young but we are mostly not able to do it. If we talk about my fear, I am still struggling to get rid of deep water fear and fear of snakes.
Water-as lovely as it looks, the more deadly it is. Water has always fascinated me but I cannot enjoy it as I am scared of deep waters. To get rid of this, I took swimming classes but I think it increased my fear. Earlier I just knew the word drowning but in my swimming classes I experienced drowning and realized that within seconds what this water can do. I think that the problem was that I learned swimming very late and to add to it, before I could learn it properly I was asked to dive in deep waters. Diving was not difficult but once you come above the water we have to swim about 50 meters and reach the other end. But I never managed to reach the other end, I always drowned in the middle. So it was a regular site - me diving with full confidence and getting drowned in the middle and then the coach coming to rescue me. Last summers, I again started with my classes; however I couldn’t get rid of my fear. I can swim, but only in 5 feet water this is what I concluded. My body just gets numb as soon as I cross the safety mark so now I am not even trying beyond that line.
Snake - another dreaded thing. Thankfully, I didn’t come across many. I think just 2-3 times I have seen them from a distance of around 50 meters in their natural habitat but yes often in my dreams. My husband is just the opposite, he is a wildlife lover and doesn’t fear snake. I cancel the Corbett trip every time because of this fear. He watches the snake things a lot on Discovery TV and it appears to me that may be by this way I will be making peace with them. However, just a few days back a man was holding a python and just that made me hysteric. I shouted at him to stay away from me and that made me realize that still I am scared of them.
These are my two fears that I hope to conquer some time in my life. So, what are your fears?

Extramarital affairs

2009-09-09T03:00:00.000-07:00

Extramarital affairs- this word always seems to be existing in serial or filmy plots. Though in today’s world we still come across these affairs but when I was in school this was a taboo topic. These affairs were always associated with foreign or high page 3 society.
This is about the time when I was in class 6th.I didn’t have any common school and home friend, I mean none of my friends stayed close to my house. However, by chance once I met my classmate-“A” in my lane and after that we started going to each other’s place discussing the school stuff. “A” was a very simple, overly decent, polite girl. With time my visits to her place increased as she just had her younger brother and mother at home. In school we didn’t use to spend much time together but I was a regular visitor at her home or rather I was mostly the only visitor. I used to chat with her mother a lot who would guide us at times. She was an educated lady, who had resigned from the post of lecturer after her marriage. A’s father was posted in a distant village and because of their studies they were living here with her mother in a rented house. She told me that her grandmother stays with her father. I used to think that may be her mother and grandmother didn’t get along with each other that’s why they were living apart. I never saw her grandmother and even her father rarely. In the time span of class 6th to 12th, I saw her father just 2-3 times. “A” was in a rented apartment and they had very few furniture just the basic things. Her father was a doctor and sometimes it would strike me that they live a very simple life as compared to their social status. Her mother was always clad in poor quality cotton sarees, I never saw “A” wearing any fancy clothes. Still we were always so involved in school gossips and work that I never suspected anything. After 12th, I moved to a different college and we stayed in touch for sometime and eventually we lost contact.

After my marriage, I met someone from the same village where A’s father was posted. He told me that her father has an affair with a nurse. And the latest is that her mother died because of kidney failure and the nurse has now even come to their house. “A” did her MBA but she is suffering from memory loss. I feel that may be that nurse might be putting something in her food who knows. It would have been better if they could have married her and after that continued with their illicit relationship.

This was so shocking for me cos I have seen A’s family very closely. If I recall our conversation about her father, she always spoke highly about her father. I don’t know why she never talked about all these thing. May be it is very difficult to say bad things about someone so near to you. May be you cannot trust anyone once you are betrayed by someone so dear. Maybe you are forced to put a false face cos you are ashamed about him.
Extramarital affairs- now is not anything restricted to serials or film plots but are much more complicated as compared to what is shown in
reel life.

Love you monsoon!!

2009-09-04T00:45:00.000-07:00

I was going somewhere and all of a sudden I noticed clouds in the sky. Monsoon brings a lot of joy. Watching the sky itself is happiness unlimited. The clouds with different patterns and colors make the sky a visual treat for eyes. Sometimes the clarity after the rains make everything pure like God is redoing the work. Sometimes the dark clouds turn the day look like night; sometimes the clouds in the light of sun give the impression that God is working on a big canvas. Not only the sky, the surroundings too are refreshed in the monsoon. The greenery increases in the otherwise barren mountains and tiny springs come out from different places.
Love you monsoon:)

Back Again!!!

2009-09-03T03:55:00.000-07:00

It’s been more than a week that I am back from my traveling. Throughout my return, I was thinking about the post I will be posting once I am back home. However I am not sure what stopped me; probably the guilt feeling that I disappeared from the blog, breaking my promise to be more frequent on blogging. I know that I disappointed my readers. I apologise to my blogger friends, for not visiting their blogs. I hope you will understand that sometimes (rather say many times in my case) you just want a break from your schedule.
If you are thinking that I was enjoying all the time away from the blog you are wrong. My trip was not that good. When we started I was very excited about me spending time in Delhi. I had planned to meet my friends and was looking for some change from my monotonous routine. But seems my life is stuck in monotony. Once I reached Delhi and before I could even start up with my plan, I was down with fever. It took me almost 10 days to recover. Once I recovered and thought to start with my plans the deadly swine flu was in the air. Everyone who was at my hometown persuaded me to come back as it was not a necessity for me to be there in Delhi. So this was the Delhi trip minus hot choco fudge minus movies minus shopping minus Dilli haat momos & fruit beer etc.
The only silver lining was that before coming back we went to Kullu – Manali.I will be doing a full post on it once I get the photos

Truth in Wine!!!

2009-07-13T03:00:00.000-07:00

As I stepped in, I could hear the party music going on, the dancing steps and people greeting each-other. The party is thrown for me “the new superstar”. The party is supposed to be for people close to me and I am amazed to see the number.
It has been fifteen years when I first came to Mumbai, chasing the stars- dreaming to become one of them. Initially it looked easy with so many contacts and my dad to support my needs. However dad’s death changed everything and surviving became the priority. Friends look like an alien word. I was lonely but determined and continued the theatre along with the part time jobs. It has been long, but every wound feels fresh even today. Standing in the storm of people is making me uncomfortable.
People absorbed in the party looked like wolves, who howled at me and ready to tear me out.
My thoughts were broken by a sudden voice
"Good Evening, Sir, drink for you”
“Thank You” I said to the waiter and took the glass of red wine.
As I looked upon the wine and people drinking it, all of a sudden I felt my blood and sweat being poured into it. I threw a glance around my surroundings and the next moment I slipped out in the darkness.
“What else can you say about a species that would not offer me food when I was hungry but offer me wine when I'm full, successful and a teetotaler”

I submitted the above story for a contest "In Vino Veritas (Truth in Wine)" Short Fiction Contest.Last time also I participated in the contest "Ascension". All the entries are brilliant I believe and it must be very difficult for the jury to choose one among those excellent pieces . I know that I am far away from winning but still I enjoy participating as you get an opportunity to share your ideas with some acclaimed writers. Still wish me luck for the forties club. I am following all the stories and till now around 90 entries are posted up there.
Also all the best to Adisha and Sonia who are participating for the first time.Adhisa has come up with a excellent story and Sonia with a very nice poem:)

P.S:My entry is #98

Thank you!!

2009-07-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

Its been long that I didn’t show up here. Many reasons and excuses for it. Initially I wasn’t getting anything to write and with time I became lazy and yes have been real busy for a week with guests.
I know that when we ae not writing we disappoint the people who visit our blogs but people who visit our blogs but there are times when we are not able to do the things we want to.Yet I was totally surprised to see my name among the award winners in Pallav’s blog.Thank you Pallav, this really inspires me:)

Past Present Future!!

2009-06-04T03:50:00.001-07:00

I was sitting thinking about the olden time and just missing those days .All of a sudden I realized that we are never able to enjoy the present to the fullest. We are either missing the past or planning and worrying about future. In In this tug of past and future we lose the precious present. With time present become past and future becomes present but we are always caught in it. It’s an irony that we ignore present which is the only thing that we have in our hands. Present is the clay with which we can reshape our past as well as future. Sometimes I just wish if we could have a remote control where we can go back to past and manipulate the things accordingly. Re-live all those past moments which we could not enjoy that time in it’s present form. But that makes me wonder how many times will I be rewinding things cos humans are never satisfied:)

Caged!!

2009-05-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

So many options and one to go for the entry.It was difficult for me to pick one photgraph for this month’s topic “Caged” at Cuckoo’s photo & shoot.I decided on this one as I think this captures beautifully the caging of water as well as land.

Thank You!!

2009-05-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

Dhanya has awarded all her blog friends with this award. Thank you, Dhanya for the wonderful gesture.
Here I would also take an opportunity to thank all the people who are connected with me through this blog world. Sometimes I am surprised that we just read some articles and get attached to the people. We never meet these people and chances are that we will never meet them ever. Still we are attached to each other through this virtual space. Our posts, our way of writing becomes our mark -our recognizance. Strangers become friends and part of our daily routine. We share our opinions, our sorrow and our joy. Unknowingly just with some words we make someone’s day. Thank you for coming here and becoming a part of me.

Adisha's Tag:25 things about ME

2009-05-04T00:22:00.000-07:00

The tag came as a surprise from Adisha. I was immensely absorbed in her post and finally at last I could see my name among the tagged people. To be honest the tag was a complete surprise for me. Many thanks to Adhisa for such a friendly gesture. I used to feel envious of people who were being tagged but now when I have been tagged, I am sort of nervous about it

1. Being youngest in the family, I was always in a protected environment. Till date it’s difficult for me to come out of the cocoon. I am a shy, introvert person and take time to mix up with people.

2. When I was a kid I was so impressed with the movie Nagin, that at times I felt I also have the secret power to turn into a snake and used to wake up sometimes, thinking I will be sleep walking and will go to some place to do the snake chasing. I know it is too weird but I was just 6.

3. I was extremely skinny as a teenager and dreamed of becoming as fat as TUNTUN. I always adored fat girls. I still remember that when I was in class 11, my best friend was a very fat girl. Once the sports teacher was taking the height and weight thing and I weighed around 35kgs and immediately after me my friend was 60kgs. We were of the same height and our teacher commented that I weigh less than a chicken. I remained 35-40 till I completed my Post Graduation. But now it seems that all of a sudden God has recalled my wish. I am putting on weight and seems the day when I will be like my ideal TUNTUN is approaching near. :D

4. I didn’t had to carve a niche in school cos we all three sisters were in the same school. My sisters were quite famous and I was always recognized as their younger sibling so I didn’t have to work on my image. On the first day itself I got recognized by the teachers.

5. I was more like a black sheep of the family in contrast to my sisters who were great in athletics and other cultural activities.

6. The last time I participated in any cultural activity was when I was in class 3. It was a ball dance and a special pink costume was stitched for it. After that I think I participated in just a speech or two publicly.

7. School went out fine for me .I held the class monitor position from 6 class to 12th. I think my skinny appearance make the teachers believe that I am quite hardworking and sincere.

8. Being the youngest among the three sister’s I was brought up more as a boy. I mostly used to dress up in boys clothes and even now I am more comfortable in jeans as compared to the Indian clothes.

9. I learned two-wheeler during my high school vacations. I use to pick up my sisters, mom -- anyone who was ready to sit with me in dad’s Bajaj Chetak. Once I was through with my gradation I got maruti 800 to drive. All the time I was either on scooter or car, so my relatives started saying that I will end up becoming a family driver.

10. I wanted to become a doctor since I was a kid. I attempted the pre- medical exam about 4-5 times. I never succeeded cos I was never serious about my preparation. I believed that someday God will show me some light and I will be serious about my studies.

11. I am totally no-no to singing and I panicked when I was asked to sing when I was being ragged in my PG days. I had heated argument with my senior that I was offered water to cool down. I went off the podium singing some nursery rhyme.

12. Crompton and Greaves people were in our campus for placement. My interview went very well. I was called from my hostel for a second interview. They asked my opinion about moving out from Delhi and I stupidly told them that I will check this with my parents. I was not even called for the final interview at Bombay.

13. When I was searching for jobs, I started hating the HR people. At one point it was clear that I could get a job only if the company will have technical interview cos HR interviews were something that I cannot fare well. I find it very odd telling my strengths and weaknesses and where I see myself after 5 years. I am not sure how one can tell this when you don’t have any job.

14. My first job was in a law firm and I was allotted a big case file. I was not ready to leave the file in the cabin as I was scarred that the file will be lost among other piles of files. I had to be convinced by my colleagues that no one would touch anything from the table.

15. My second office was more fun and here I landed up to the MNC culture. I explored many food joints with my colleague’s. My best friend secretly fielded for me as one of the Miss Congeniality contestant. The funny thing was that when my name was announced I was standing beside the bathroom door.

16. I spent around 3 years in this office and I believe that I enriched personally as well as professionally there.

17. I had a very good time with my flat mates also. I was the most sincere girl as I was not much into parties and worked as a mediator between the girls and the land lady.

18. I am a complete shopholic, I can buy anything under the sign “Sale”. At times I pick up things which I never use. Also, gradually I have become a brand freak. My husband has added to my brand mania.

19. The first year of the marriage comprised of arguments leading to fights. I don’t know why but I think always on every festival by evening we land up fighting with each other. It can be attributed to my transformation from a working to a non-working person. Also may be my mind was so stuffed with romantic novel notions. How ever, just after we celebrated our first anniversary it seems that we have adapted more tolerance towards each other.

20. I spent last summer from may – september learning swimming, still I can swim only in 5 feet deep pools. I just get numb as I see deep waters. Now I am more scared by water may be this is because I have the experience of drowning in the pool.

21. Through down the lane chasing my dream to become a fat girl I have turned into a major foodie. I enjoy all types of food and chicken items being my favorite.

22. I am a very sensitive person, any small thing and my tears start pouring out which I hate but I guess I have a over secretive tear glands. It is one of the things that I don’t have any control.

23.My hubby and I are poles apart when it is to choose place for vacations. I am a complete city girl in my taste and he opts for unexplored wild areas.

24. I am quite unpredictable sometimes even I wonder about the way I behave.

25. So finally I am through with twenty five things about me. I am not sure if these things are going to describe me more or will leave you more surprised about me. This is what I am in a nut shell.

I would like to tag Sonia:)

God!!

2009-05-02T01:16:00.001-07:00

I have done some posts on God earlier too. I like writing about God when ever I am in distress and looking for his mercy. May be by writing about him I just want to make him happy and want him to smile at me. No I am not an orthodox neither I am someone who approves wrong practices in the name of religion nor someone who denies the scientific theories. Yet I am a simple human being who believes in a power above us God that works beyond human power and principles. Don’t know how many of you will agree with me that sometimes the things are beyond human power and leaving them to God is the only solution. I am not ashamed if believing in God makes me a weak creature. God for me is the only light in a cave of darkness, only companion in my solitude, only comfort in my distress, only judge of my work good or bad, a silent spectator of my cursing when I am angry.

Some Questions!!!

2009-04-17T10:06:00.001-07:00

Ever thought about what happens after death? Don’t you feel like that our whole life is a chasing game where we are constantly chased by death? The moment our Death chases us everything is finished with it. Why a person is scarred when death embraces? Do we fear that we will be lonely up there? But won’t we meet all our dead relatives up there? Do we have life beyond death? Do our souls still live once we are dead? If the soul theory is true will I be meeting my grandfathers and fore fathers up there? If every soul lives up after death than won’t it be crowded? My soul after death will be in old form or child form? Will my parents be my parents or will they be my grandparent’s child up there?I suppose no one has answered these facts that how one feels after death. As mythologies say do we take rebirth within 11 - 13 days of our death? Is there really something like hell and heaven? Is someone really registering what we are doing and based on our works will be allotted our next life? What we are doing is recorded and based on it our destiny is created? But don’t you think if everything is guided by God why do we are responsible for sins? Many chances that the supreme power is divided between God and Shiatan. Is God a single person or like his names do we have many Gods? Any ideas if Gods are territorial? Sometimes I visualize that we all are God’s toys and as when we play we randomly allot some bad and good do God works I the same way?

Just wondering if you all also have these questions? These thoughts are wandering in my mind since long. I was not sure how to initiate the post. Today after going through a similar post I just sat up and form all these questions:)

Miscellaneous!!

2009-04-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

It’s been long since I posted a real post in my blog. I am enjoying more of other people’s blog these days. We always pick up the easier of things I suppose, so I am more into reading rather than writing in my blog. However, when I re-read my last posts I realized that I am disappointing the readers coming here. Just one post in last fifteen days and that too for the photo- contest. Though the readers have been thoughtful enough to comment but yes there was not much to read or to praise.
So here is an update of where I was busy. I went on a short 3 day trip to Dehradun. It was not exactly a vacation trip; it was more of a visit to my husband’s sister’s place. Nothing special just went there to meet them. It was real boring for me being formal and pretending to be an organized disciplined person. The formal no talk food sessions. At one stage my mouth ached cos I didn’t get to speak much. Hubby dear mostly vanished with his nephew and poor me was stuck at home with his niece. We went to Musoorie too. After that trip, I enjoyed sometime with my sisters and niece who were here for their long weekend.
Again these weeks were more of the reading weeks as compared to TV watching. I read Colter’s Wife by Joan Johnston and The Last Jury by John Grisham. Don’t worry, I am not starting with another of my weird review write-ups cos I wasn’t much impressed by these novels. I also started with one of Sidney Sheildon’s novel and halfway through, I realized that I had already read the novel. This happens with me all the time when I pick Sheldon or Danielle Steele. This has happened with me earlier also. To avoid this, in the past I maintained a diary where I penned down a brief of all the novels that I have read. Like all other things, I followed this practice for a short time. I am seriously thinking to start it all again cos it is quite irritating to realize that we have already read a novel when you are half way through.
This was all that I did in last few days. Let me now tell you what I am planning for my coming days. Obviously a lot more writing than reading, so be prepared to read some more crappy posts from me. I seriously want to give an attempt to write 55 – fiction story which I love reading. I really get impressed with the people who are into this fiction. God knows when I will be doing that but surely pretty soon. Additionally, some serious stuff too which are in my mind but giving them the shape of a post is going to take some time. And yes you cannot escape from my book review. Soon I will be posting a book review that I read long time back and was delighted to see it turned into a movie with the same title.

Tall!!

2009-04-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

This month the photo contest topic at Cuckoo’s cosmos is “Tall. As soon as we hear the word tall the first thing that comes to our mind are the tall mountains. I have lots of photograph of these mountains but suddenly I recalled the tall “Shiva” statue that we clicked at
Nageshwar Temple, Gujarat. So this is my entry for “Tall”. The second photograph is for the contest and the first one is just one of my favourites.

Some Reading!!!!

2009-03-31T05:37:00.000-07:00

This week it was a time for reading. I got around 10-15 novels last time when I was in Delhi. I stocked so many books as I didn’t want to run out of stock like last time. The novels are not available in my town so now onwards I always want to be stocked with them for emergencies. Though I stocked them since December but didn’t read any of them till this week. So this week I managed finishing off two of them. Bittersmooth by Sidney Shieldon and Sold by Patricia McCormick .
When I started with Bittersmooth I thought that is going to be like any of Shieldon’s novel but this one was different. Though it had all the regular punches of coincidences but still it was treated in a different way. Firstly a very clean novel and it lacks the intense shieldon’e bedroom scenes. It portrays the current scenario of the homemaker wives and how they feel once the kids grow up. After reading this even I am scared about the coming time i.e after 15-18 years of marriage. Hope you can guess the story if not this is about a women who after 15 years of the marriage decide to start with her photography career. How-ever the husband didn’t agree with her and she realize that love is missing in their marriage. She meet a wallstreet tycoon and in the last got married with her too. Just wondering that how easy things are in such stories and yes I love happy ending that’s why I am hooked to fiction.

I am happy that I purchased “Sold”. A novel based on the research done on the women of Calcutta’s red light area and girls rescued from the sex trade. The book is quite simple and it describes the way a 13 year old girl saw this world. How the girl was sold for just 1000 rupees and her journey to prostitution. The agony that these prostitution undergo and the way they live. You can check further details here.

Sleepy Post!!!!!!

2009-03-30T05:06:00.000-07:00

So the time of the year when you feel sleepy has arrived. When I was
working I didn’t have much time to notice the season. Nine to six is a
pretty good time and was spent within the office building where
the temperature and environment is more or less the same
throughout the year. However I have realized that with the beginning
of March I want to have afternoon naps. These days I start feeling
sleepy as soon as I am through with my breakfast. This reminds me how
the onset of exams in this month used to make us greedier for sleep.
I used to think that this is more associated with exams but now I feel
there’s something in the air that makes me sleepy. I am free with my
breakfast and don’t want to write more cos I am feeling sleepy again.

Happy!!

2009-03-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

This flower is to reflect my current mood. I am happy!!! Are you thinking about the reason behind my happiness? Let me tell you I am happy cos I have got the privilege to be a guest author at Cuckoo’s cosmos:)
So what are you waiting for please check the post at Cuckoo’s cosmos:)

Resort!!

2009-03-13T03:13:00.000-07:00

These are some of the photographs of the resort. Finally after two years it will be functioning again. This is actually a forest leased land inside the forest area. Located near the Bijrani Gate of Corbett Park, this is one of those resorts where permanent constructions are not allowed and everything needs to be done only after permissions from the forest department. When this land was bought by my husband and his partners initially, they ran this on some tents. However they lacked experience in this area and they could not run it very professionally. Moreover being involved in other things, they didn’t have much time to devote to this. It has been two years that nothing was done here and the only thing was talking about getting the things done here. They did get the offers from other nearby resort owners to develop but hubby’s partner was not ready for it. However they found someone from this business, who did not have any property in Corbett Park Ramnagar and so they finally developed this.
The resort consists of six little cottages and a food area. As you can see from the pictures, staying in the resort means getting a feel of the real forest. This is the right place if you are a nature lover. The whole resort is eco-friendly and it has started just a week before. I am excited about it but yes still feel lack of bonding with the place. The reason may be that we did not contribute in its making. I didn’t knew any of the staff members there and to be honest at back of my mind, I was just making calculations if the money spent is worth :)

Changeism!!

2009-03-08T23:57:00.000-07:00

When ever I see school going kids I am always fascinated by the way they carry themselves. I also wonder if I would have sustained in this type of environment. I mean, I am not sure if my parents would have approved of giving me the cellphones or the scooties when in high school. Also I feel that these things are so common nowadays that kids who don’t have the gadgets must be feeling left out in a group. When I did my high school internet was not a household thing, even the only scope of getting the results were when they were displayed in school board or either you are so resourceful that you can get it checked at the board itself (that happens seldom). Once the CBSE results were announced the results were displayed after a week in the notice board. Now with advent of internet students can easily check the results sitting at home. But what about those who don’t have the facility at home?
Raising kids now a days surely needs much more awareness, sensibility and a lot of money. Gone are the days when one school uniform or any other dress was passed from one sibling to other and even in some cases to the cousins too. Branded clothes are what kids are wearing these days. We were more into NCERT books and projects meant doing something additional through books only. However today students have much more scope with google in their hands. I never liked the tuition thing and I just got the tuitions only in my high school and Intermediate but now after high school children are joining coaching classes preparing side by side for the examinations they will be appearing after 12th class. Surely the competition has increased and if you are not going with the pace others are going you will be left out in this world. Summer vacations were mostly spent either playing badminton or the world of comics – Billu,pinky,naagraaj,chacha chaudhry.The kids world use to be of comics and those who had good collection of these were the leaders. Afternoons were spent exchanging the comics or renting them for a rupee or two for a day. Now I assume may be the kids do that but surely for the videogames. Comics are something antique these days. Cartoons were there but only on Sundays and on Doordarshan the only options were Rangoli,Ramayan,Mahabharat etc. Later on the daily soap Shanti and swabhimaan were the topics of discussion. Who would have thought that after 10-15 years kids will have full time cartoon networks,dedicated kids channel and about 100 other channels to surf?Additionally the kids have the social networking sites too. I was surprised to see my cousin studying in 9th class having an account in Orkut.I remember that my aunt was showing proudly the photographs that her son had posted in orkut. I was fuming inside and was annoyed that she is not aware of the misuse of these kind of sites.
Yes! the world is changing, the technology is changing and the way kids grow up is also changing. The kids are a lot smarter, aware today but in our days we didn’t have the MMS scandal or kids firing at school.

Change and adaptability is the law of survival so everyone is changing. In this fast wind of change, we don’t even have the time to stop and think the impact of the change cos we also have to be in this race to survive. Seems it is true that we progress only at the expense of something and it is upon us to decide what we want.

Just a call!

2009-03-04T02:59:00.000-08:00

she: Hello “Is this ----?
me: Yes speaking!
she: I am from a placement agency .You are working with ------?
me: Yes, I have worked there till November 2007, I am not working presently.
she: May I know why you are not working?
me: I got married in December and just wanted to settle in the new life. I decided to take a break.
she: So it is nearly a year now!
me: Yes.
she:I had openings but I don’t want to talk about it with someone who is sitting at home for a year. Anyways I will talk to the consultant.

With this she kept the phone. There have been many instances when I have received calls from the consultant and the moment I tell them that I am in a break they just make an excuse. However, this was the first time that someone was so honest, spontaneous and blunt with me.

A message!

2009-03-02T01:01:00.000-08:00

I can bet that you all also feel the same kind of disappointment that I am talking about.This must have happened with you too. You all must be wondering what I am talking about? I wanted to share with you the feeling of disappointment when you visit some of your favorite blogs and don't see anything new posted there. I have added all the blogs that I read in my favorites. I am addicted to some of them and just don't feel my day complete unless I read them. Yes one of the reasons is that the blogger daily writes something in it. They are more of the "daily diary" kind of thing. You get attached to the person and their life. Mostly bloggers blog about anything and I like that too. I like reading crap at times and have the feeling that I could have written one too. Once you get addicted to the blog of a person you just want to read more and more but if it is not updated, it surely disappoints the reader. So with this post I want all the bloggers to continue posting some thing or other, a paragraph or two in their blogs. Even though you don't see comments, always remember that the silent readers are always there who might be disappointed on seeing the old posts. So everyone reading this always keep blogging:)

Wake up!

2009-02-20T01:09:00.000-08:00

I was expecting that many articles will swim around with this topic but unfortunately none of my known bloggers addressed this. May be we are waiting for other to come up with it.I know this was not the first time when Valentine was opposed but I thought that after that pub incident we will be getting some strong reactions against Indian talibanis. Wake up! please, for how long will we be seeing all this drama in the name of culture and traditional values? ? It was sad to see that mostly the news coverage on valentine in India was about bajrang dal,shivsena ,ramsena and god knows many other groups threatening people against celebrating valentines. They consider it as western onslaught on Indian culture but what about their own behaviour? Brother sister mistaken as lovers and beaten up, couples tortured and asked embarrassing questions and that too in front of camera. It was more shameful that, in many places this happened in spite of the police protection. Where are we heading?
I have read the encounters of women in some countries mostly in novels ( Diary of the Arab Princess, The Kite Runner, Thousand splendid Sun etc) and all the time I used to thank god that I was born in India which is much more ahead in civilization. While reading those books I had pinched myself too, reading those encounters that these horror shows can not happen in my country. However after the pub incident hearing the encounters of the women in Radio mirchi I cannot say the same. Instead of growing up with the women status, see where we are landing? Believe me, if this is happening in India this is more shameful cos here women have powers but we are not using it. There has been series of embarrassing things in year 2009 that we need to have some solution to. All these news were flashed in TV and flaunted in newspapers over the front page sadly nothing was done against it. No doubt these things will be repeated now onwards for publicity, so be prepared to give up your independence to some handful people anytime. With the starting of the year a leading actor supported by his wife commented about women right about using the family name. I know many of the women were hurt with his statement asking women to use husbands' surname after marriage and wanted them to give up the fathers' surname. Should we? Ask your conscious how you will fell if you will lose your identity after 20-25 years of your life? Are you aware that many of us sign using our surnames so will be changing that too?
Mangalore incident break all the barriers that separated us from the talibanis. Much has been written about it and even some level protests were also done. The question is, were they enough to stop any further such encounters? Does all this pave the way to more such incidents by some fickle minded people who just want to get publicity? Inspired by the popularity of unknown Ramsena many such small groups took valentines as an opportunity. They are so wild that it doesn't matter if it is negative publicity. I remember that the news paper on 15 Feb has beautiful photographs from different parts of the world along with the photos of agitation in India. We all saw the news, we all read the papers , we felt sorry and forgot about it. Are we waiting to happen this to us? Are we waiting for these handful of people to become majority?
I believe that strict measures should be taken against these people before such mushrooming groups become a menace. Immediate ban on these parties is required. Just to discourage these people whichever party announces such things, the registered members should be kept in jail to avoid such shameful confrontations. As far as Sanjay Dutt is considered I hope that he loses the election. We supported him when he was trapped in drugs, we supported him when he was caught in TADA but this is high
time that he should realize that he needs to be more sensible and matured. He can carry on the fight with his sister but should not preach about what women should do.We need to stand before India is transformed into taliban by a handful of people because the majority chooses not to speak.

Other Blurred Option!!!

2009-02-14T01:28:00.000-08:00

Does everything get so vivid at the top? Though it was my husband who was at the top of the cliff but it was me who was shaking at some distance away from it. The point where my husband was standing with his camera to get some sunset pics is known as " suicidal point". I am afraid of heights so I couldn't go up but was very nervous for my husband too and was shaking. I tried to take some of the pictures as the view was too good but couldn't. My husband scolded me for shaking the camera and spoiling his pics. I thought I will submit this for the monthly contest but I selected some other pics.As I was ready with the post so I decided to post it too:)
And yes apart from blurred pics I managed to get some good pictures too :)

Blur!!!!

2009-02-14T01:08:00.000-08:00

Things go blur at times. This month's topic for Cuckoos photo and Shoot is blur so I looked for some blurred pictures in my collection. After searching for some time, I thought I have done pretty good photography cos I had just three four blurred pictures. I was in a fix in deciding which one to send cos for one of the pictures I had a very good and catchy slogan but for the others I didn't have anything substantial to post with.
Of course, I decided on the one for which I did not have much to say but I like the pic. I think this is more of a photography contest. The above picture is the one I have selected for the contest. I don't know the exact reason for the blurring of this photograph. I took this in Goa when my hubby decided to play beach football with some locals. Looks this got blurred cos when everyone was in action I was lazily taking the pics as a mere spectator. And see, by the end of the post I am also getting a message - If you do not move with the world, the world starts getting blurred.

Desirability!!!

2009-02-11T01:24:00.000-08:00

Did you ever think about how the strange aspect of human nature "desirability". Analyzing my own desires over the years just make me feel that desire is inversely proportional to what we have. When I was in school I wanted to be in college and when I reached college all of a sudden I wanted to go back to my school days. This doesn't end here after college we are sick at ease unless we get into a job and as soon as we start working we regret joining too soon. Hold on! this goes further as whenever I saw married women just flaunting their husband's money I desperately wanted to do that too. I still remember that once when I went with my colleagues to a restaurant where some ladies had gathered for their kitty party. My heart just ached to see those women flaunting their husband's money and I announced that I want to be like these. What's wrong in enjoying your husband's money which is far more enjoyable than working in 9 to 6 job. After getting married I quit my job but I am still not happy, now I think it is more sensible to earn your own too. So now,I have given you enough examples and so we can talk about the real thing i.e. "Desirability". Is this a basic human nature that we are never able to appreciate what we have? Likewise when it comes to materialistic desires we don't have any end to it. We desire about a thing till the moment we achieve it but as soon as we accomplish it we have another desire. One thing after another--no end to it. Is it like getting more in life makes us greedier? Why can't we easily be satisfied and contended? We always want the best for us but are we sure what is best for us? I am so fed up with this desirability factor that now when I pray to God I pray for satisfaction which I think is more important.

Just a thought!!!!

2009-02-05T23:43:00.000-08:00

I don't have any disliking for dogs but at the same time I am not one of those who love dogs. At my parents place we have always had pet dogs mostly Pomeranian but they were not much pain as they have some open space where they could go out for shit. More over I never minded the dogs at my place cos they were always kept as dogs. No offence meant when I say dogs should be kept as dogs as I have seen people spoiling their dogs like anything but they don't have any concern for humans. I really disapprove and don't like dogs being given a kingly treatment as some people give them. Yes I have cried too when my dog died, but no matter what giving dogs a better life that even some humans do not get is what I disapprove of.
When I got married my husband had a German Shepard but unfortunately he died soon. After that for a brief time we had a Labrador too, but I somehow convinced my husband that it’s no sense keeping a pet when we don't have outdoor space. I am not sure what sense it makes feeding the dog with that highly priced Pedigree when majority of babies in India don't even get cerelac or any other baby food. I still remember how my land-lady used to pamper her black Pomeranian. I was really jealous of him on seeing auntie persuading him to eat boiled eggs and milk and that too with her hands and poor me was going to office in a hurry without breakfast. I also know a family who always took their dog out with them and if they didn't have the option of taking him with them, one of the family member would always stay back with it. I just want to make a point that it is ok to keep pets, care for them and love them too. Pets are surely great companions and are loyal but at the same time we should be compassionate towards humans too.

Vacations!!!

2009-01-20T00:59:00.000-08:00

Vacations looked like an easy topic but when it comes to submit the entry I am all confused. I am not sure which one to submit – the vacations in hill, the jungle vacations, the serene forest, beach holidays. After lot of pondering I decide to submit the photograph taken at Goa.I selected this one cos I think water and the island always are associated with vacations.
So this is my entry for Cuckoos photo and shoot contest.

2009-01-13T04:57:00.000-08:00

ASCENSION

Her body was lying there and turning blue as time passed. Yes, she is just a body now with no soul, the girl I loved so dearly. Her face still looked as lovely as it used to be and strands of her hair covered her face. I had the urge to tie up her hair, as I used to but nothing mattered anymore.
Yes, I am on top of my career - a place I always wanted to be. I am someone who everyone envies CEO of a Pharmaceutical company. Till now only the top position mattered to me. I never cared how I reached there. I had taken shortcuts for success. Everything is still fresh in my memories, my first step to success, luring the doctors to recommend my brand, bribing the ministers to get the necessary approvals. One thing led to another, I did everything whether right or wrong to promote my company. I moved up without much sweat. Today I realize that it was all so easy because in reality I never tried to climb. I took the escalator instead of stairs. I was on an escalator standing at one place and being moved up by a mechanism - in my case the wrong deeds. It wasn't me who was going higher; it was just the surface that moved up. I wish I had realized this difference without my daughter's ascension.
Next day the newspapers had the following headlines: "PHARMACEUTICAL GIANT'S DAUGHTER DIED OF INFECTED VACCINE”

This is my entry for "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest.Yesturday as usual when I was roaming in the blog world I came to know about this contest.I thought to give it a try.Though after going through the enties I wasn’t sure to participate as all of them are too good but nothing wrong in taking up a chance. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try :)
Wish me LUCK!!!!!
P.S: The above posted photgraph is the work of Jason evans.I am just posting it here so that you can relate my story with the photgraph.

Memories!!!

2009-01-13T03:17:00.000-08:00

I was reading some romantic portion in the novel and that all of a sudden reminded me of my roommate and the love theories she had. So my this particular roommate belonged to a very good family and had an NRI boyfriend who used to pamper her a lot. She was always stocked with cosmetics and chocolates courtesy her BF.I will not say that she was not capable of buying all those things but you know the pleasure of using the things gifted by someone special is what matters more. No! I am not here to talk about their relationship but I want to tell about the sweet talks or the love gyan that she and I used to share. Before marrying I also had a courtship with my husband. So it was like that time we both had BF's, we intended to marry and we used to share our experiences about it. Things like where we went, how we spent the day -- when the man in our lives used to visit us. I think in my life she was the only person I shared my wardrobe with -- which I have not even done with my sisters. This was because we both were nearly of the same height and weight. I still remember how we used to ask everyone that who is the fatter among us, praying that they name the other one. Many times only to prove that the other one is fatter- we used to go and weigh ourselves in the weighing machine that our landlady had. I have always been a simple, plain girl whereas she was someone who was quite particular about everything she wears. She taught me how to put kajal(which now I use on a daily basis) and some basics about the cosmetics. She was the one who used to to take the maximum time to dress up and I teasingly used to call her the “main heroine” whereas we all were the side ones.
Enough about the other things, so let’s come to her love gyan. Once when my BF was about to come she asked me to go in a proper dressed up way. So me on her instructions clad in a salwar suit, my hair open and wearing big earrings - originally owned by her, went to meet my BF.In the evening when I came back, she was eagerly waiting for me and wanted to know about my BF's response. She shooted all kind of questions at me like - Did he praise my looks? Did he say that you are looking beautiful? Did he notice the earrings? She was disappointed to know that my BF didn't approve of the lovely fancy earrings and I had to tie my hair afterwards because I couldn't manage them. I still remember that she wasn't happy with my BF's behavior and bombarded me with a list of questions to check that if he really loves me or not. How she showed me the quiz on Sunday times which said "When Should You Quit from a Relationship?”. She was a fortunate girl to have a BF who was in awe with her, someone who used to say you are looking pretty whenever they would meet but unfortunately her parents have not yet permitted her for the marriage.

So quiz yourself with the following questions:

Does your hubby/BF say things like "you are looking beautiful" "you
are looking pretty"
Does you hubby/Bf say "I love you" or "I love you +your name" (if he
says your name too this means he really mean what he say)
Did he ever say "you are looking hot"
Does he get gifts for you?
Does he plan surprises for you?

P.S: Don't get disheartened if you score low cos 90% of hubby/Bf have the following answers : You always look beautiful, hot and pretty so I don't need to say at any particular moment. Remember "Facts need not to be spoken" :)

Year 2008!!!

2009-01-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

Its been long I couldn't write much here although many times I longed
to write but some how couldn't .I wanted to put a big post after
winning the photo contest and also after receiving the t-shirt as a
gift. The photo contest gives me the push to at least put one post
every month. Many times I feel guilty that even though I am not
working still I am not able to post much. I am aware that people
manage doing the things they like in spite of their busy schedules and
here I am free most of the time still not finding a zeal to write.
Sometimes I have the topic, the matter but somehow I am not sure how to
start it and so I just don't work on it. This sometimes depresses me.
I am scared that this is becoming my habit I just start up things and
am not able to keep my enthusiasm and just drop it off after some time.

Last year was a very different year, I had many new experiences, came
to know about many worldly things. I learned importance of family. I
for the first time wished if I was born as a boy. I missed Delhi, the
people and the life that I left behind. I missed all of these things,
many times I wanted to come back and start up with my career but all
the other time it seemed useless. Sometimes I feel like laughing on my
own thoughts and frustration. If I meet people who don't have
resources like us I feel frustrated and sorry but if I meet people who
are richer than us again I am frustrated about myself. This year I
have been jealous with other people many times and I am not going to
list my jealousy reasons cos most of them were as stupid as I am. I
understand that I was more susceptible to all these things this year
cos I have ample of time to spend on all these useless things.

Not only clouds but yes I experienced a lot of sunshine too this year.
I traveled to many places which I could not do earlier. I had a formal
birthday party after so many years. I believe last time when I had I
was in class sixth after that I was too conscious to have a formal
party. Like always did lots of shopping and fun. Now for this year I
just pray that god make me more matured towards my responsibilities
and I enjoy and be satisfied with what I have instead of regretting
about what I don't.

Options!!!

2008-12-17T04:09:00.000-08:00

These were the other pics that I shortlisted for the monthly contest!!!I think they are good too for the topic "Pink".

Pink!!!

2008-12-17T03:49:00.000-08:00

The above pic is for the monthly contest in Cuckoo’s photo and shoot
. This month’s theme is pink and I feel nothing better than a pink flower. This is one of the pictures from Mukteshwar trip.

Conspiracy!!!

2008-11-17T00:35:00.000-08:00

The bee and the butterfly both move on from flower to flower in search of nectar. The pics make me feel that both are conspiring with the flowers against each other. You must be thinking why all of a sudden I am viewing the nature’s activity as something associated with human nature. Nothing special just viewing it for Cuckoo’s photo and shoot monthly contest for which the topic is “Conspiracy”. This is going to be my third participation in the monthly contest, no luck yet but yes I love participating in it.

Movies!!!

2008-11-17T00:34:00.001-08:00

The producers being at strike so it was a week without serials. Yes I am among those who love watching the serials. Hate it or love it still they are part of our lives. So in the absence of fresh episodes I watched more of star movies. Though I had seen the ending of “Father to the bride” but I watched it again from the beginning. Some movies are like you watch them again and you feel more attached to it ---- same is with this movie. The movie was basically a comedy movie and may be I would have laughed at it but now after being married I can easily relate with the father’s dilemma. I cried watching many scenes and the most touching part was when the father was to say “I handover this woman to ….” and the father was confused how they can call his kid a woman.
The other movie that I got emotional was “10 things I hate about you”. The movie was like any of the teenager love stories but just a scene where the girl talks about 10 things she hate about the guy makes the movie. Don’t know how they do it but when you hear the dialogues it looks as some one poured your heart in it. All the ten clauses about the hate thing were more or less the one the girls hate about the guys but the last one was the best “I HATE THAT I M NOT ABLE TO HATE YOU”. It was worth watching both the movies.

Sometimes!!!!

2008-11-15T22:48:00.000-08:00

Sometimes do you want to fight with God? Sometimes do you think that God is just playing games with you? Sometimes do you feel that God is just not being right with you? Sometimes do you think why always me? Sometimes are you angry with God? Sometimes do you feel that God betrayed you? Sometimes do you want to yell at God? Sometimes you just want to deny God’s existence. Sometimes you feel targeted by God. Its what I feel exactly at this time. I don’t know what but I feel that whenever I plan something God never fulfills it. Though I am not that type of girl who boosts things or say something which I am not capable of. I am some who always thinks about the limitations and weaknesses. I have seen God helping many people who don’t even deserve it although I am not an authority to question god’s decision but sometimes………..

Water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

Finally, I am ready with my entry for this month's Cuckoo's Point & Shoot Photo contest. I am saying "finally" cos this month's topic -- "Life and
Death" -- is tricky. I have been thinking about it since I saw it posted. I wanted to click something real, but couldn't find anything apt for the topic. Now as the last date for entry is approaching,I decided it's going to be symbolic and it will be "Water".
The topic also reminded me that I had chosen this as my storyline
for a science fiction some years back for "Science Reader". I had
visualized that around 2050, the human beings have colonies in moon
but the world is on the verge of coming to an end due to scarcity of water. The food is replaced with capsules as no water is available for
agriculture. Man had found a substitute for everything but they still
needed to find a solution for water. In between the story there
are two friends who are topnotch scientists working on the water
project. They become successful in synthesizing water but the only
problem was that in their invention the water got oxidized and H2O
turned into H2O2. To get the solution one of the friend tested
the synthesized water on himself but the friend died.
They finally did succeed and invented a route to prepare
water and the other friend recalls all this when
they are nominated for Noble Prize.
Somehow, I never sent that for the Science Reader and I don't want to
have a similar fate for another "water" entry and so here goes my
entry.

Old Age!!!

2008-09-19T00:43:00.000-07:00

In the last two weeks, I spent time with my maternal grandmother
(Naani). I accompanied her to my sister's place. My sister shares a
very good bond with my Nanijee, unlike me. I am closer to my parents
and not much into mingling with relatives. It was always my sisters who
used to stay at my nanijee's place, whereas I would spend a day at most. I
still remember, I started crying in midnight once when I stayed at my
nanijee's place and they had to take me back home in the middle of the night.

Lean, short, wrinkle face and mostly clad in white saree is a
portrait of my nanijee. A woman who has seen great days and still
lives in it .A family of six children, along with in laws had always
kept my nani busy throughout her life. Even after everyone was married,
my nanijee had nana, around whom her life revolved. The house that was
quite huge with a big lawn was my nani's world. But after nanajee's
death, things started changing she kept herself still busy in the
house. Things went on smooth till she had energy but now with time her
health is declining …but the old beliefs are still there. She does not have
the energy to maintain the house on her own now. Her sons my maternal
uncles are so busy with their families that they hardly get time to
come and see the old woman. Sometimes they come for the festivals but
most of the time they don't. A weekly phone call is what they care
about their mother. At times I feel that they are just waiting for her
to die and sell the property. A truth, that even nani knows some where
deep in her heart. Keeping with her old belief she hesitates to stay
with her daughters but now she has to. Not many choices and places left to
spend her time so she agreed to go with me to my sister's place. I did
enjoy my time with her but there were things that irritated me at
times like her three hours long morning and evening puja, food
restrictions etc. Above all this I realized a fact and a part of me was somewhere scared with this realization. Is this what is going to happen with me after 30-40 years? All that nanijee is going through is actually our future cause we all are going to get old one day.

In our youth when we are full of energy working towards our future we
plan about our car, house, things we want to do, everything .The only
thing we forget to plan is the real future "old age" which actually no
one can plan. Did my Nani in her younger days, with so many people around
ever think that in her last days she will have to keep on
moving from one child's house to other? How can we plan about the
diabetes that we may have, hearing problem, the medicine kit and
above all the loneliness. How does it feel when you don't
have anything to look forward to and you are like just waiting to embrace death. How are we supposed to plan what our kids are going to do with us in future? Will we be able to cope up with the coming generations? Will our savings suffice till we die? Many such harsh realities that one could not think about when you are young.

Yes, but definitely we can always give a try to be more considerate
not only towards our parents and grandparents but many such old people
who are adjusting to survival

pictures!!!!

2008-09-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

Cheers!!! I have started posting pictures in my blog. Although still need to work on it as I could not post them in the way I wanted to. The problem with me is, I am very impatient and just want to be through with the work. The only part that I follow to T is the introduction part of anything as a result I know about the thing but miss the vital points. Please don’t blame me for this as it is one of my typical Cancerian traits.

Yes, another important thing -- sent my entry for the contest in “Cuckoo’s Point & Shoot "I believe result will be out by 21st September, so wish me luck

contest!!!

2008-09-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

While browsing through the blogs, I somehow landed up on this particular blog. I refer it as particular cos I find the monthly photo contest very interesting. Although I wanted to send my entry for “treasure “also but couldn’t make up my mind for any particular picture. This month’s topic is “cloud” which matches with the monsoon going on. I don’t want to miss this time but again I am caught in dilemma which one to post or if I should click some new picture as clouds are readily available. After a lot of thinking, I felt that I should send something from my collection rather than taking a photograph as natural is always better than the posed. So here comes my entry, actually this picture was taken up by my husband on his way to Calcutta. I have chosen this particular photograph as it shows clouds with silver lining, as if saying “just hold on with the dark clouds and soon you will get the silver lining”. I think this is very true in life also… if we can just hold on to ourselves in the moments of despair we will soon be through with it.

2008-08-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

I am back from Gujarat trip. This was my second trip, last time I went to Rajkot at Maharaj jee’s ashram only soon after the marriage. We had to cut the trip midway that time as my hubby got some urgent work .This time I wanted to have real feel of the state
So I already did the bookings in advance. I was excited as my parents, sister and niece were also coming with us.
The trip started with lots of apprehensions due to the Ahmedabad blasts. Everyone suggested to cancel the trip as everyday new bombs were being reported to be discovered. It was inevitable for me and my husband as we had to go for the yearly Sawan Pooja at “Jagannath Temple” Rajkot. Finally we did go on the trip but my sister didn’t accompany us and we missed her throughout our trip.
We had train till Ahmedabad and from there we had to take a Volvo coach for Rajkot. On reaching Ahemdabad, we didn’t even have the slightest feeling that this is the same place which was quivering with blasts three days before. It was all quiet; the traffic too was like a normal one and yes I didn’t notice much police force.
Now talking about the bus service we have the famous Eagle, Patel and many other services. The buses are really good Air Conditioned buses with video in it. The highway is good too and we reached Rajkot within 3-4 hours watching movie “Jannat” though at times the movie was unbearable.
Although we reached temple after lunch time but Maharaj jee had already asked someone to keep some food for us. The temple was serene like always but lots of arrangements were going on inside for the Sawan month which was about to start in a day. The temple was decorated with lights everywhere. Maharaj jee is the sole person who manages the temple. He is a spiritual guru and has many other followers. Our marriage was also arranged by him and this was my husband’s twelfth sawan visit in a row. Maharaj jee is around 85 and was very ill in summers but he was all geared for the big sawan month. I guess the temple too is quite popular in Rajkot as many people visit here. My hubby mostly remained with Maharaj jee but I was all free to see the market and absorb the culture here. I noticed many ice-cream parlors and they didn’t serve the famous brands mostly they had their own local brands. I think dining out is not much popular but after dinner coming out for ice creams is more popular here. Other common thing is the green chilies. They serve green chilies with everything and they are an important part of the food. I loved eating “gathiya” with papaya and fried green chilly. I wish, I could get this at my place too. When it comes to food I cannot say that I was eating the typical Gujarati food as the food prepared in the temple was something which has a Gujarati touch but not completely. We had “Poha” or “Dhokla” most of the time for breakfast , only once we had Samosas. It was fun eating in big Mandir premises with the Mandir staff. We had a three day pooja but they were with out fasts. Maharaj doesn’t believe in fasts at all and even he is not rigid about Pooja process. Me being “ME” didn’t bring much of my suits but yes Maharaj told me that I looked gracious in the saree that I was wearing on pooja day and asked me to wear them more often. On the last day they asked me to choose saris from the lot which were donated by people for “Devi”.
On the third day after the Havana we headed for Somnath. We went through the famous Gir forest but like other national reserves this remains closed in the monsoon season. My hubby is a wildlife and nature lover so we took an outer trip of the reserve but we didn’t get to see any lion. We reached Somnath late in night, had dinner and stayed in “Somnath Trust”. I think this is the best place to stay, it is not luxurious but it is located at a walking distance from the temple. My mom and dad were ready to go to the temple at around 5.30 so I too went with them while my husband enjoyed his sleep. They open the temple doors around 6 but people queue before that. We did the darshan of the Shivlinga and on the backside of the Mandir was an enormous sea. The view was awesome. As the arti was around 7, I went back to the room and persuaded my husband to reach the temple for the morning Aarti. By this time they had decorated the Shivlinga and it was looking very beautiful. After Aarti we went to the beach. Mom and I enjoyed the camel ride.I really like the arrangements in the temple. They had everything organized systematically and strictly in queue thing which made the Darshan very comfortable.
Hats off to the temple trust!!
We started for Diu immediately after the breakfast .The scenery on the way was beautiful. As Gujrat is a dry area so mostly people visit Diu for alcohols and you can see many bars here all around. I found the atmosphere very similar to Goa but it lacks the foreign tourist. The beaches are still not much explored and we couldn’t enjoy a swim because of the monsoon season. We stopped at a sea shell museum which is near the beach. The museum was a private effort of a retired merchant officer who had displayed the shells that he had collected when he was in the job. My hubby purchased some shells which in my opinion were overly priced.
All the fun that we missed in the beach was covered up when we went to see the Diu fort. It was one of the oldest forts that was built by the Portuguese. The fort is surrounded by the sea and the architecture is amazing. We walked about 4 km to see the various parts of the fort. The guide told us many stories about the glory and intelligence of Portuguese. Also one can see many V shaped palm trees that were brought by the Portuguese from South Africa to symbolize their victory.
The next destination was Dwarikadish .It was coconut trees that were running along the way with us till now but now it was sea that was moving with the road. Looked like the sea was competing with the human made roads. We crossed one of the biggest cities of Gujrat -- Porbandar --birth place of Mahatma Gandhi. Finally in Dwarikadish we could find a restaurant that served some authentic North Indian food. It was great, eating spicy vegetable curry without the sugar pinch of Gujarati food. The darshan here was not as easy as it was in Somnath. We reached at the time of arti and the temple area was exploding without any proper arrangements. We had to struggle for the Darshan among women who were climbing the poles of the temple. Yes!! Lord Krishna’s statue was worth this entire struggle. I guess the statue was carved in black granite with a diamond on the chin. I noticed that this place is very similar to Mathura and Vrindavan. I suppose the similarity may be because all of them have Krishna connections. After this we went to Nageswar Mandir where a huge Shiva statue is installed by the T-Series Supreme Late Gulshan Kumar. This was our last destination and after this we began our return journey through Volvo to Ahemdabad. This time it was more enjoyable as the movie was “Jane Tu Ya Jaane na”.
So I had a very good trip. I am back home planning for another trip. I wish I could spend all my time traveling but I know that will have to wait for some time at least till I convince my hubby for another trip.

Mom & Dad

2008-07-19T01:00:00.001-07:00

One of the things that I realized after marriage is importance of mom and dad in one’s life. It doesn’t mean that I have stopped arguing mom but yes I know that after God they are the persons we can look for. Now I realise that God cannot take care of every human being so they create parents who are actually surrogate God. I know that I can fight with the whole world and even with them still they will be the people standing with me after the fight. I know that how disappointed I am my mom will always find some word to encourage me. I know that even how stupid I behave but my dad will always find something proud in my acts.
And yes I also realized that there are many things for which I forgot to thank my parents. I forgot to thank them for bringing me in this world. I never thanked them for providing me shelter, protection from the wild world around. May be I always believe that these are the fundamental duties of parents. Like all other kids I always had a taken granted attitude towards them. Still I argue, at times yell, misbehave too but mom an dad I just want to say I LOVE YOU.I know I can never repay the things that you have done for me. I know I cannot show what you mean to me. I know I will be too shy to thank you in person for the known and unknown things that you have done for me. But for once here I would say “THANK YOU” for being such loving parents and “SORRY” , I am aware that in return I have not been such a good daughter. I know you will believe me if I say I tried hard and will always try to be a good daughter.

God!

2008-07-19T00:28:00.000-07:00

God is the most mysterious word in this world. Many believe in his existence and many of us don’t. What exactly God is? A belief, a myth, a savior with different names, an unknown person who existed once upon a time or someone created by people for their own selfish reasons. Many theories to support his existence and many scientific reasons against them. Yet still God is the most mysterious word.
I believe in God. It doesn’t mean that I have seen God .God for me is a physiological strength. God is someone I look forward to when I am in despair. Someone I want to thank silently for many of the things that I have got in my life. Someone I can talk to someone I can hold responsible for my right as well as wrong things in life. Sometimes I feel that god is a hidden power inside us and when we call God we are actually calling power within us. Their have been many times when I got my inner peace by chanting God’s name and many times I don’t but yet I strongly feel a strength.

A to Z

2008-02-29T03:04:00.000-08:00

The plot of this post is stolen from someone. I am sorry but I was so bored and I am tempted to have something to post. I hope the rights of this plot are not under copyright so I am safe!!!!!!!!!!

A to Z of meJ

A: Aries my husband

B:Busy not at all

C: Chocolates, chocolate pastries ,chocolate shakes anything chocolaty

D: Dumb!! yes I am but not all the time yes sometimes

E: Excuses I make a lot

F: Fights I have many

G: Gym the only place where I work these days

H: Home Haldwani

I: Insane

J: Jack of all trades

K: King my husband

L: Love - husband , mom-dad, sisters , niece and of course chachu

M: Manjery or Manjerrry

N: Niece two

O: Oppsss, this is what I use ten times a day

P: Purpose of life I am still searching

Q: Questions a lot

R: Restless I am

S: Sleepy all the time

T: Typical me

U: United Colors of Benetton my favorite brand these days

V: Very confused

W: Weird I am at times

X: Xperience makes you wise

Y: Yell at times

Z: Zodiac -Cancer

Nothing to Post

2008-02-27T09:02:00.000-08:00

I know it’s been long I have not posted anything here in my own space. I more desperately want to blog these days as I think this could be a medium where I can keep in touch with my old friends as well as can make new friends. I am aware that when some people who are close to me want to know about me they are going to look here to share some moments of my life. So friends I promise that may be not daily but at least I will try to post something every week.
I miss you all and want to post many things but I am not sure what to write about. I don’t want to bore you with Mars & Venus things, I mean all that husband and wife sagas. My husband is a very normal husband who likes do all those things which from my view point are weird. Me like any normal wife do all those things which irritates him. Next topic in my life is my mother-in-law (MIL) .Again I don’t want to bore you with that as you people are already overstuffed with saas bahu in Ekta Kapoor’s serial. Apart from these two I don’t have much happening in my life. Seriously its just been three months and I am already bored. So here I am with “nothing to post” post!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S: my husband and I celebrated our three successful months yesterday and I got my first bouquet from him. Yes!!!!!! I didn’t get any on valentines.

One monthh!!!!

2007-12-26T23:18:00.000-08:00

This is for completing one month of my marriage. Hurray!!!!I know miles to go but every mile is important!!!!!!!!so lets toast for it!!!!!
I wanted to post about pre- marriage, post-marriage and lots of other things for bride to be but seems that you people have to wait. I still don't have the connectivity at home and its going to take another month or so to settle down. We still not through with our extended honeymoo!!!!!

A Girl's Life

2007-11-12T22:05:00.000-08:00

I am sorry if my post rhymes like a dog's life or a donkey's life cos this is what I am feeling at this moment. I know that I am not the only or the first girl getting married but still can't help I am not feeling too good types. Yes I know the guy the marriage is being done with my consent but still. How you are suppose to handle the transformation in your life? Yes, I am nervous, sad, happy and many more things.
The initial marriage date announcement was very sweet. I mean with that I got green signal for shopping and for few days it was all shopping and shopping. Now shopping gives me shocks. I cannot shop as in my original days the bridal shopping is to be different. Let’s start with footwear I always like sneakers and even with the Indian wears I go with flat slippers. Now I am not even allowed to touch those flat ones I only have to pick from high heels. No one is bothered if I am not comfortable with those high heels everyone is you will need them with sari. Ok, come to saris now I don't know how to drape a sari still mom spent a good fortune on saris. Ya, I admit they all are pretty and too good but how am going to wear them is another problem will discuss in some other post. Though I like all the things that I purchased but I am not sure I will be using them or not they are not what I use.
Another thing that I am hysteric about is make-up kit. Till now my proud possessions were only the moisturizers or the kajal stick but now people expect me to use make-up. So these days I am collecting lots of cosmetics without even knowing how they are to be used. I have started growing up my nails but not able to file them so another thing to be learned. And don't talk to me about those beauty parlous or the so called beauty clinics now. You just need to enter there and trust me they will make you feel that you need all those therapies that they have listed and novice like me are real bakras. I am careful with money but still I have spent around 2000 in these clinics. They are money sucking machines.
I know these are not the reasons to feel like girl’s life but when you know that you will be leaving your home it is really tough. I am not staying in my home since last 4-5 years but still home is my parent’s home. Now onwards I am not sure what I have to think when the word home comes to my mind.Don't know if I like some showpiece I will buy it for my parent’s home or my hubby's home.
I know how much understanding your husband is but still the priorities will have to change. The friends I am promising will be in touch god knows will see them again or not. The change will not only be the change of surname but the change of social circles too. In addition to this adjusting to the new family and becoming a part of it is also a challenge. I know every girl goes through this transformation and for other person it looks like just a normal routine. Trust me when you will be going through it you will also feel that you are running short of days from your own life and regret a girl’s life.

Sad

2007-11-01T23:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt a pain when you are packing your bags? The clothes that are just clothes till date and all of a sudden you start remembering the stories behind it. The places you went to buy a particular top or some dress that you purchased for someone’s party. Yes, I did feel all this I was overwhelmed while packing the bags. Yes, I started my packing yesterday and it was painful. We have the habit to accumulate so many things even in a temporary place. Already three bags packed with my clothes and many more left to be packed. Don’t know if I will be getting a chance to use them or not but still. I know after Diwali holidays I will be here for just a week but still I didn’t packed many of my things.
I wanted to write many more things but just heard about a friend’s death and now in no mood to write anything. I still remember his dreams and ambitions. May God give peace to his soul! How fragile human body is!!!

Strong people cannot be defeated

2007-10-16T01:53:00.000-07:00

Strong people cannot be defeated............
This was the punch line of Crossings, Danielle Steel's current novel that I am reading these days. I liked the novel though I know it was all typical Danielle novels, lovers, war and the reunions. I always like novels with happy ending and I mostly get this in steel's novel. Ok, I was talking about the punch line it is used in a wonderful way in the novel. I like that tooo. So I had a good time reading the novel.

Regret

2007-10-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

Do you ever regret for doing something that you strongly feel at spur of the moment was the only right thing and later on you regret? Something like taking alcohols, drugs etc. Yes anger is one of the things that I regret later on. I mean I don’t know why but yes I did something yesterday that I feel was not something right but yet it looked to be the only right thing I was doing at that time. I yelled at my cab mate at top of my voice which I should not have done. I am not sure who was right? Everyone thinks that they are right and the other wrong vice-versa but still I regret my behavior.

Another thing that I can’t control is tears. I don’t know why my tear glands are so overflowing. You talk roughly to me you can see tears. Talk loudly to me tears again. Say something hard tears again. I don’t want these tears at all I want to control them but don’t know if my tears have a direct connection with my heart or what. Any small thing and I have tears. I really hate tears. Don’t take it like that I am a very fragile too girly type. I believe I am too strong and even if I am not why don’t my tears let me pretend this thing. Why my emotions come to my face???

Smiley

2007-10-09T01:33:00.000-07:00

I was talking to some friend that day and all of a sudden I realized that I want to use smiley. Yes, the one we pop in to say the unsaid things at times or just for time pass. Don’t even realize and smiley becomes a part of our communications. I specially miss: D which I use a lot when I am chatting. The smiley with big grin is my favorite and I really want to use it all the time. I think one of the reasons that I use it more often is that I like to see that big pearly teeth. I don’t have very good teeth they are not only slight yellow but I have total 7 filled in cavities and 2 RCT’s done (including the one that is being done this time). I don’t like my teeth much since I was a kid. When my sis got her braces done I also desperately wanted to go for it. Somehow my mom always convinced me that I don’t need them. I know people think I am weird whenever I tell hem that I fantasies to wear braces (they think this too when I tell them for years I wanted to be like TUNTUN :D) I know that this post is not about my teeth or my weird fantasies it is about the impact of smiley. So I wanted you all (all those who read this post) to start observing if you miss them too. Please post your answers if you do!

Decision

2007-09-26T23:54:00.000-07:00

It’s always easy to decide but difficult to strict to the decision. I decide many a things daily but become so impatient that cannot carry any of me decisions. Some of the decisions that I made this week (obviously could not strict to them):

Will not let people treat me with taken granted attitude
Learn to say no
Will not pick his phone if he doesn’t return mine after 10 miss calls
Will argue with him till he accepts his fault without fighting
Not going to take initiative in flat mate’s B’day unless her roommate shows interest [although like always again I have taken the responsibility to arrange the cake and since morning enquiring about price J ]
Will search job seriously
Will try to study on internet instead of reading other people’s blog
Will not eat Maggie on reaching home after office
Will try or at least open Organic Chemistry book instead of tracking those daily soaps
Will not get irritated easily
Anyways I read somewhere “Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” So I assume that I am committed to all these decisions but just being flexible till next week!!!!

Daughter's Day

2007-09-25T00:36:00.001-07:00

I saw many of the hoarding and advertisements related to Daughters day. As usual didn't pay much attention to it. I basically believe these days as creation of marketing brands for their own interests without much to do with the real emotions. I remember once mom asking me about what it was when there was an advertisement in TV on mother's day and I tried my best that she didn't get that it was about mother's day. I don't know why but I don't like this new culture of celebrating days I believe that instead of devoting a days its better you love your near ones daily. Anyways this is all past so I was talking about DAUGHTERS day. I was aware that this year we have daughter’s day too but in my mind it was more of NGO people popularizing this concept for girls.

Like usual Saturdays this saturday too we all had our sessions of nonsense gossips in PG and slept late around 1 or 2. So like all sundays it was again late sleeping hours on sunday, waked up with my mobile's ring sis was there:
Hi !
Hi
How ru?
I am good!!
u still sleepy
ya ya!!
Ok just check below your mattress thare is a card for u!!
Card???
DAUGHTERS DAY card, mom kept that last week when she was there
oh!
ok will check bye!!!

After that for 2-3 minutes I was like surprised figuring out how my mom came to know about that and above all she managed buying a card without my knowledge when she was here. I was overwhelmed checked the card. It was a beautiful card with pink daffodils and nice message. The card was addressed as MY, OUR DAUGHTER and at the end LUV MOMMY DAD. The word dad mom that’s I am used to since my childhood gave a different meaning today. I cannot explain the feelings that I had I was in 5 min ecstasy.
I called mom after that , dad picked the phone I had by that time only mom in my mind and before I could ask him about her it was dad saying"Badhai hoo, Daughters day hai na aaj" and I was dumbstruck. Oh God dad too cared about it. Talked the usual thank you stuff to mom and dad. But I feel these moments as one of the best in my life I had the same feeling as I feel on accomplishing something. When it comes to talking I am a girl of few words (doesn't mean that I talk less but when its like showing emotions I am not too good) but I learned the lesson that although we care for people throughout the year but it does matter if we tell them we are there on one special day.

Real life and Reel life

2007-09-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

Was seeing some serial yesterday night and was wondering that if our problems could be solved as easily as in these serials. The accidents, makeover, death, love, marriages, divorces, success, failure everything good or bad comes and goes. So the punch line is nothing stays in reel life but the truth is everything stays in real life!!!!!!

Thank God!

2007-08-23T00:08:00.000-07:00

When I hear about an Orphan I thank god for giving me a family. When I saw a crippled person i thank god for giving me a good strong body.When I saw people dying of hunger I thank god for giving me food. When I saw people hunting for job I thank god for giving me a job. Rest all the time I am complaning to god.

Oh God!

2007-08-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder that if we all are god’s Childs then why God give his child pains? Why everyone is not same? Why the gap of rich and poor? Why the sufferings? Why the tears? Why exploitation? Why all this discrimination?

Kid again

2007-08-22T04:58:00.000-07:00

I want to be a kid again
I don’t want to take decisions
I want to be a kid again, look at others to make decisions
I don’t want to be grown up
I want to be kid again, look grown ups struggling
I don’t want people to make expectations from me
I want to be kid again, look at people meeting expectations
I want to be kid again

July!!!

2007-07-03T01:44:00.000-07:00

In India July has its own significance. July is marked as a month when the monsoon starts. July is also the month in which the schools reopen. So in this month you can see kids going to the schools with new bags and books. For my family July has one more significance - My birth. Yes I am julyborn. I still rememeber that my dad use to purchase all big things in this month be it our first colour tv,washing machine, car, etc and I use to be very proud about it. They were the so called gifts I use to get.
I think I am missing those days!!!!The days when I was a child!!!!When I always have the option to go complain my mom about things!!Oh!!!I want to be a kid again!!!!!

How I started!!!

2007-03-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

Its been long reading other people's blog!!!enough of spying lets give others a chance to spy!!!so here I am with my own blog!!!!Hopefully will continue with this tempoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!